You have inspired me this year to attempt to wear my hair curly. We haven’t quite figured it out, but it has improved since we started working on it. Weirdly enough, even though I neglected the natural waves/curls for most of my life, I feel more like myself when I let my hair do its thing.
You have also challenged me this year big time in many different areas. For one, you love to dance and try new things, and although I have grown to enjoy that too, I have found myself being extremely critical of everything I do. Even while doing healthy things, such as going to therapy, I still wonder if I can optimize the healing process.
This year was different because we had a lot of monumental firsts. First college degree, my first big girl job, and my first summer off from school or work, I can’t forget my first heartbreak but also the first time I consciously and intentionally mapped out the year. I have been learning to say no to people and situations that no longer resonate with me. I’ve learned how lighter life can get when you have set boundaries with yourself and others. I’ve learned how valuable and painful it is to go through a rough time.
I’ve learned that my number one priority is to love, choose, and accept myself every morning. No matter how much I think, I suck or rock. I’m still showing up sometimes with an extra dose of encouragement and love—other times with the confidence of that young five-year-old who loved to perform dances for her whole family. I’ve embraced my main character energy to the fullest this year because, after all, it is my life, and I am in control (somewhat), and if I don’t do it for myself, no one else will. Through this compassion, I’ve shown myself I have learned to love others the way they are today. I often created these expectations based on potential or what I would do, and I’ve realized how incredibly selfish that can be. Everyone moves at their own pace. My only choice is how much or little space I want these people to take into my life. Here’s where boundaries have become extremely helpful.
I’m proud of you. Extremely. Utterly. You have committed to doing the work for no other than yourself, which takes a lot of courage. You have realized the external validation is just a bunch of noise that ultimately doesn’t make you feel full filled. What ignites your body, mind, and soul is as simple as acknowledging your emotions and loving them equally. The sadness, anger, and happiness. Understanding where they come from and nurturing them like the tiniest cutest baby penguins (that’s how I picture them in my head)
Plans for the new year involve some more surrendering and mindfulness to the everyday. Besides that, I feel everything will work out in perfect timing, just as 2022 has shown me.
I cannot end this any other way than just expressing my gratitude to every single soul that has crossed and continues to be a part of my life. Grateful for the health, support, love, rejection, tears, judgment, etc.
I’m grateful for little you; that keeps me company and inspires me to be authentic and unapologetically myself. That authenticity has attracted the kindest and most magical people and opportunities in my life. Because yes, you are pushing me to be better as I do the work, take life less seriously, and simply have fun. I am inspired by your adventurous, resilient, and brave qualities when in doubt.
Therefore, thank you, thank you, and thank you.
This life is nothing but a sea of growth opportunities. That is only if you decide to look at life that way. How refreshing that changing your perspective is always an option.
Happy new year!
With love,
E
Sleepy Awakening 